Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

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Question: I need to know if I should end this once and for all. I've been in a long distance relationship with a woman for two years. It's had its ups and downs but I've always been there for her no matter what. She broke up with me once then came back. I accepted it because she showed me that she really loved me and wanted to be with me.

Now she says she doesn't want to commit until we're together all the time, but I can't do that right now. Her lack of commitment is stressing me out because I love her very much. I think it's just an excuse to be with another guy. She says she loves me but her actions don't show it.

If you really love someone, wouldn't you want to be committed to them? I'm just not sure it's worth the effort anymore.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: A relationship takes the effort of two people, not just one. She's not giving her half to the relationship. You are there for her, and she's not there for you. You sound like a

very smart and caring guy, and you already know the answer. I agree that if you're in love, you want to be committed, even if the other person isn't there all the time. Actions speak louder than words. Stop doing all the work and find someone who's there for you as much as you're there for them. Don't waste another minute with the wrong person. There are so many women in the world who'd love to find a man like you!    

Mr. Know: Dude, I'm sorry. I'm assuming that when you use the word commitment, you mean she's committed only to you and not dating other guys. Long distance relationships are hard. It takes a special kind of commitment from both parties, which is not what you have here. Dude, wake up. She has left you before. She'll do it again. The problem is that you love her and she doesn't love you. When you love someone, you will go to the moon and back for them. I can tell that you'd do it but she wouldn't. You're right. It's what people do more than what they say that matters. I can't stand when couples tell each other "I love you" every minute of the day but treat each other like crap later.    

You have two options: (1) Cut her loose, and find yourself a girl who's committed to you like you are to her. Don't worry, you will find the right girl. I don't think this one is it. (2) Stay with her and go through the emotional hell of thinking she's doing it with someone else. And she will. Now, if you got no problem with that, then that's a different story. You're too close to the situation. This isn't rocket science, but your emotions are clouding your judgment. Those are your two choices. Goodluck and Godspeed.

Comments

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Like any relationship, long distance relationships require effort for them to succeed. Where your relationship differs from a normal relationship, is the fact that you have time to live for yourself. How many couples do you know of, who complain that they never have time for themselves. As with any sort of relationship, there are undoubtedly times where frustrations start creeping in. The quality time that you spend together, probably on the end of a telephone line can quickly end up in mind games, destroying the small amount of time you do get to be close together. If the wonders do start creeping up on you, remember that your relationship is built on trust, love and respect.