Help! I'm Commitment-Phobic

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Question: I have a big problem with commitment. I am a 31 year old woman. I have confidence and other people tell me I'm an outgoing and pleasing person. However, I have a problem committing to my relationships.

I have been in 5 'committed' relationships, between one and four years long. But after the first couple of months I get bored, then I'm unfaithful and find a way to get out of the relationship. I've always made sure my partners get the blame and make them feel guilty, but I know the problem is me.

After I leave them I miss them and feel bad about what I have done. I call them, but in the meantime have a new 'lover'. I end up in a situation of having a 'committed' relationship with a man, while still phoning, visiting and having sex with my previous partner. I can not carry on like this anymore. Last night I 'dumped' my partner only to be with someone 'new' I met two weeks ago at a friend's place. I am still uncertain about going back to my previous, previous partner. Please help!

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: You do have a problem. Perhaps you just aren't a person who should be committed and you should start being up front about it instead of hurting these guys. Just face it, you may never find the right guy. However if you do eventually want to get married, you will need to stop what you are doing and be faithful. Perhaps you jump from one relationship to the

next and haven't taken the time to actually find a suitable partner.

I suggest you tell yourself you aren't going to be in ANY committed relationship for at least one year. Then you will be sure to take time before you jump blindly to the next one only to break his heart.

Mr. Know: How many guys have you been with? You sound more like a whore or a prostitute than a woman looking for a relationship. I don't know what's driving you away from men, but it's gotta be some deep-seated physchological mumbo jumbo crap that you kinda have to figure out yourself. The road you are taking is almost like the road of a prostitute. Maybe since you get bored with a guy every two months, you should become a high priced "escort". All kidding aside, you just need to date and not be in a relationship until you figure out what you want out of life.