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Question: I have been in a gay relationship for five years with my boyfriend, throughout the five years he has cheated on me various times and hit me. And every time I forgave him and let him come back.
I've also cheated on him out of revenge and done things he doesn’t know about. I want this so bad to work out, but I'm tired of crying for him and him crying for me. We just keep going in circles.
Last time we broke up and got back together, I gave up everything he asked me to. I expected us to work on things to finally get it together and be happy. Well he told me that while we were still together and he was in California for a month, he posted a craigslist ad and found a wealthy man who wined and dined him while he was out there. He said he came back to live with me again because it was best place for his daughters to grow up and I wanted to help as much as I can.
Now he tells me this wealthy man offered him much more then I can ever give him. Now he's decided to leave me and tell me that he can't give up the opportunity of what this man is offering him. Paid rent, new car, trips, everything. He showed me proof of all these things he's getting.
He is choosing his "sugardaddy" over me and I just can't and don't
want to let him go. He's packing today and plans to leave tomorrow, but
he is still telling me he loves me! I don’t know what to do. Everyone
tells me to get over this, but I don't want to!
It's been 5 years and it's hard to even make it that far in a gay relationship. He says he wants to leave on good terms so that we can maybe one day find each other again and be together. But for now he wants to go with this chance and risk what we have and be free basically. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore... I don't buy it because this morning when I woke up he was wrapped around me. I asked him if he'll miss this and he said he would miss it a lot, but there's nothing I can do to make him change his mind! I am hurt.
Answers:
Ms. Mystery: Breakups
are never ever easy. In fact they are hell! The sad part of life is
that everyone goes through them (unless you're a monk - but even
then...). Some people go through many breakups. Listen to nearly every
hit songs ever written, they are all about heart break. (Note: this
does not apply to Hip Hop songs, they are about 'hooking up'). Listen
to the song "I Will Survive."
Five years is a long relationship, gay or not. The longer you were together, the harder to break up. He is going to miss you. But who cares? This guy chooses money over love and that is truly tragic. This happens all the time. Right now it hurts like you will not survive, but believe me you will! I personally have been through many breakups. Sometimes it was my idea, sometimes theirs. The time it takes to be TOTALLY over a broken heart equals 50% of the time you were together. Sorry to tell you that is 2 1/2 years for you. But it gets easier every day and in 2 1/2 years you can see him and feel nothing! You'll probably see him and be thrilled you didn't stay with him. Remember, the best way to get over a broken heart is another man (not men).
Right now, all you can do is let him go. He may come crawling back, but when he does, you probably won't want him anymore. You will have moved on. You'll probably we with someone who makes you much happier and values you over money. Remember, your love is worth a million dollars (billion!) so if this guy doesn't value love, forget him. It's his loss. Don't waste another minute on him.
Mr. Know: This guy is psycho. He has jerked you around long enough. If he calls you again for whatever reason, tell him Good Luck and Goodbye. He is an a-hole. Find yourself a nice guy that puts love in front of money.
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