Help with Erections & Sex please!
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Question: I'm 17 and dating a girl who I love to bits. The problem is that last night we tried to have sex (we're both virgins) and I couldn't get it up. I get an erection fine when I'm alone. We're both kind of shy and she doesn't like showing herself off much, but I need some help!
I felt really nervous sorta, and I was a little tired. I'm quite a nervous person anyway but I'm not sure that could be the cause of it. It was so embarrassing and now I permanently feel inadequate and... like crap. What is wrong with me? LOL
Secondly, this is REALLY stupid... I got it almost stiff but soon went very floppy again when I attempted to have sex with her. Being a virgin, I had no idea what I was doing or where to put it exactly. I Googled a bit but really want a basic picture to give me an idea of where it should be going in case I ever do manage to get an erection around her again (LOL). I wouldn't want to make a mistake and hurt her.
Answers:
Mr. Know:
Teen sex is very stressful. I do not recommend it for any teen because
so many things can go wrong. First of all, I hope you were wearing
protection. If you plan to have sex again, wear protection. I don't
want to hear any crap about not being able to feel. Teen pregnancy
happens and I do not think you want to have a child at 17 or catch a
disease.
You could not get it up because you were stressed out. This is normal.
It happens. Do not worry about it. Most likely your brain was telling
you that you are not ready for it. Do you have to have sex at 17? Can
you wait? What is the hurry?
Ms. Mystery: I'm going to go with Mr. Know's answer 100%.


I think Mr. Know should change his name to Mr. No....First of all teen sex is very normal, but I do agree that protection is a must. What you have (or had) my friend is performance anxiety (PA)...a very normal experience among men, in your case most likely caused by stress...PA is a mental thing, not a physical thing bc you can get erections when you use your hand. Anyway, you need to stay positive and focus on your partner, not on the bad things (ie will i be bad, am i too small for her, can i perform this time, etc). PA can lead to a downward spiral of low self-esteem, future PA problems, and avoiding sexual intercourse (not good-which is what Mr. Know was suggesting you do). You just have to mentally get over it. It probably happened because not only was it your first time with her, but your first time period...so dont worry buddy.
Remember, stay positive, and always use protection. Best of luck to you
Posted by: Slamo | October 27, 2008 at 01:41 AM