How Do I Strike Up a Gonversation with a Girl I've Never Met?

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Question: If I see a girl I don't know in a cafe, and she keep looking at me and our eyes meet, what should I do if I want to meet her? What if she's alone at the table? What if she's with friends or family? Sometimes I feel shy when girls look at me! Please help me.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: If a girl keeps looking at you and catching your eye, she is obviously attracted to you.  Remember that girls are people too. They want the same things and have the same worries that guys do.

Don't put pressure on yourself. Simply say anything to her. Comment on the weather, ask if you've met before, comment on the food, or even better, tell her she has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. Then she can reply and you can simply talk and see where the conversation goes. It's probably easier if she's alone, but if she's not you just have to go for it.

Very important: if the girl is with a friend when you talk to her, be sure you include her friend in the conversation. If you ignore her friend and treat her like she's invisible then her friend won't like you. If her friend doesn't like you then the girl probably won't either.

Mr. Know: You should smile first, then offer to buy her coffee is she is alone. If she is with friends, he could do the same. If she is with family, forget about it. Good luck!

Comments

[jt]

ms. mystery gives good advice!

You can say just about anything as long as it's genuine. Say the first thing in your head, or, "I just noticed you from over there, and I wanted to come say hi. My name's Jackie Chan." The 'what if' questions mean you're curious about her, so go find out! Talk about yourself, or anything, and enjoy the moment you two have together.

And stay away from Mystery Method, that stuff is weird.

[Ms. Mystery]

@karen
I agree that a guy shouldn't comment on something physical which is not personal such as the girls dress, etc. But, telling a girl she has beautiful eyes is very personal and a nice compliment. It certainly never freaks me out. The key is that any compliment given is completely sincere.

If a man buys me a drink I certainly don't feel like he's trying to buy me - because I cannot be bought. I figure that he just wants to spend a few minutes chatting. Of course, this will vary in different cities and ages. Older men are more likely to buy drinks and expect nothing other than a pleasant 5 minute chat. I wonder if men buying women drinks is more accepted in the South when men still open doors for women. What does everyone else think?

[karen]

"tell her she has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen."

DON'T DO THIS. IT WILL FREAK HER OUT.

You should never compliment a girl on her looks when you are trying to pick up. It makes you come across as superficial.

Also, don't offer to buy her a drink. That's a tactic which has been tried by many guys (and doesn't work). You can't "buy" a girl with a drink, whether it be alcohol or a coffee.

You should read about "The Mystery Method", it'll teach you a lot about how to make the right approach.

Some tips, - initiate a conversation over your shoulder, when you initiate the conversation say "Oh, I have to leave in 5 minutes" - because it makes the girl feel less pressure as you will be leaving soon. So, you could start with: "I have to leave in 5 minutes, but before I go, I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on something? ...?
And then go from there.

Oh, I'd explain more, but just go and read the Mystery Method - that'll sort you out!