Good Luck and Confess

My Girl Slept with My Cousin!

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Question: My girl did the dirt with my cousin. I only found out today my heart is broken. What do I do? I'm falling apart.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery:  Your girl did the dirt with your cousin!? That absolutely sucks. Of course it hurts. Of course she's not worthy of a single tear from you, and not worthy of your thoughts. And she was never even worthy of being your girlfriend. Telling you all this doesn't help ease your pain right now. It still hurts like hell! And that she did this with your cousin? What the heck was he thinking doing that to you? Unfortunately you can't pick your family.

Your broken heart feels very real. I know, I've had my share of them myself. And unfortunately it happens to EVERYBODY. Look around, everyone has had a broken heart or two or several. Thousands of songs have been written by broken hearts. Listen to the radio and you'll hear song after song about broken hearts.

I have found that it takes 50% of the time you were together to completely get over that person. Unless you keep letting them string you along - don't let that happen because then it might take even longer.

I promise that after the pain has eased and you can see clearly, you will wonder why the hell you ever dated her in the first place. You will feel nothing for her. You will find another, wonderful girl, who won't do this to you. Please don't be the guy who never trusts any other girls after this one "rotten apple."

I know of a guy who caught his girl cheating with his best friend in high school. He's in his late 40s and still won't open himself up to women. He has never been married or even had a long-term girlfriend. Don't let this cheating, lying girl ruin you for future relationships! Don't give her that power over you.

I know of another guy who caught his WIFE cheating with his BROTHER! He got divorced, then his ex-wife married his brother! His broken heart healed and now he realizes that he's actually very lucky and his brother's now stuck with this girl.

I promise you are lucky to find out what she is like now instead of later. Time does heal all wounds.

Mr. Know:  There's no need for you to fall apart. Drop her like a hot potato and don't look back. This girl is bad news. And please, don't try to think of million reasons why you should stay together.

How Can I Stop My Lover from Leaving Me for a Sugar Daddy?

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Question: I have been in a gay relationship for five years with my boyfriend, throughout the five years he has cheated on me various times and hit me. And every time I forgave him and let him come back.

I've also cheated on him out of revenge and done things he doesn’t know about. I want this so bad to work out, but I'm tired of crying for him and him crying for me.  We just keep going in circles.

Last time we broke up and got back together, I gave up everything he asked me to. I expected us to work on things to finally get it together and be happy. Well he told me that while we were still together and he was in California for a month, he posted a craigslist ad and found a  wealthy man who wined and dined him while he was out there. He said he came back to live with me again because it was best place for his daughters to grow up and I wanted to help as much as I can.

Help! I'm Commitment-Phobic

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Question: I have a big problem with commitment. I am a 31 year old woman. I have confidence and other people tell me I'm an outgoing and pleasing person. However, I have a problem committing to my relationships.

I have been in 5 'committed' relationships, between one and four years long. But after the first couple of months I get bored, then I'm unfaithful and find a way to get out of the relationship. I've always made sure my partners get the blame and make them feel guilty, but I know the problem is me.

After I leave them I miss them and feel bad about what I have done. I call them, but in the meantime have a new 'lover'. I end up in a situation of having a 'committed' relationship with a man, while still phoning, visiting and having sex with my previous partner. I can not carry on like this anymore. Last night I 'dumped' my partner only to be with someone 'new' I met two weeks ago at a friend's place. I am still uncertain about going back to my previous, previous partner. Please help!

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: You do have a problem. Perhaps you just aren't a person who should be committed and you should start being up front about it instead of hurting these guys. Just face it, you may never find the right guy. However if you do eventually want to get married, you will need to stop what you are doing and be faithful. Perhaps you jump from one relationship to the

Should I Divorce Him?

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Question: Is it reasonable to want out of this marriage? My husband of 4 years suffers from depression. I made him get treatment when I found out I was pregnant. Now our baby is 8 months old. My husband has been on medication and in therapy for a year and I'm not sure it's working.

He is more pleasant and manages his anger, but he talks about suicide often. On Friday he was fired from job. This is the second time in a year. We are in a financial bind and may lose our house.

First of all, I can't stand the stress of another financial disaster, after the first time he was fired. Second, I am worried about our baby being around such an unstable person, even though he treats our child wonderfully. Should I get out of this relationship?

Answers:
Mr. Know: Just reading your question, I wanted to shoot myself. I'm going to give you some blunt answers. You may not

How to Get Over the Girl Who Messed with My Head

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Question: I really liked this really cute girl. We were close at one point, but out of nowhere she started ignoring me and started flirting with other guys in front of me. I was confused at first, then after a while I started not caring. Now she's calling my name, waving and smiling at me again. I just act cool, hanging with my friends and flirting with girls. If she gets close I just walk away. I don't feel the same about her anymore, but a small part of me misses what we had. It really drove me nuts then she was was ignoring me and it hurt. We're in the same science class, so I can't completely avoid her. How can I get over her?

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: Either she doesn't know what the heck she wants, or she likes you and decided to try to make you jealous in order to test you to see if you really liked her or not.

She flirted with other guys and it backfired. Instead, she drove you away and confused you. Now she's gone back to flirting with you. Dating is confusing. Everyone is afraid to be

How to Win Her Back

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Question: For two years I dated a wonderful girl. She was the woman of my dreams. We got into a small fight when I saw her talking to an old boyfriend. She said she's not sure she loves me and broke up with me.

She is leaving to go to college and tells me she doesn't want to be tied down. I understand that, but I'm miserable without her. She told me she love me when I last saw her.

I haven't talked to her in two weeks. Do you have any advice on how to get her back?

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: This is life. She's not ready for a long-term relationship, and you are. The timing is off and there's nothing you can do right now other than to let her go. If you chase her you risk pushing her away and losing her forever. Have you heard that old saying "If you love someone and you set them free, they will come back if they belonged to you. If they don't

Should He Forgive Her for Affair?

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Question: I cheated on my boyfriend of five years. I felt terrible and was very depressed for a while. I kept my stress to myself, but then my boyfriend found out. He was crushed and I went back home to be with my family for a while in order to work things out, I know it will take time, but now everyone knows what I did. I know I must face my mistakes, but I'm worried about what his family thinks. I don't want them to think that i would ever anything like that again. My boyfriend and I are spending more time together. We love each other, but both know it will take time to heal things. What can I do to make things better?

Answers:
Mr. Know:  Don't worry about what his family might think. What really matters is what he thinks. Spending time together without any pressure is the right approach. What's going to be

How to Control Yourself After a Breakup

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Question: I don't want to sound like I'm desperate for pity, but I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks ago. It was a rough breakup. We were together nearly a year and were in love, but I wasn't happy because we fought at least once a week. Also, my friends flirted with her a lot and I hated that. I mentioned it to her and she said I overreacted. I got into an argument with one of my "friends" and he wanted to fight me.

Tonight, I found out the guy I nearly fought asked my ex to his senior prom. They both know I'm going to the same prom. I graduated last year but am going with a friend who's still a senior. My ex told me she's going with this guy because she feels sorry for him not having a date. I am devastated and told her but she doesn't seem to care. I feel horrible. What should I do?

Answers:

Ms. Mystery: It hurts to break up. Even if you argued. You're gonna feel like you lost something for awhile. You don't want to run into her or see her at all, especially if she's with another guy. You have two choices. 1. Go to the prom and act like a

My Girl Dances with Other Guys

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Question: Should I dump my girlfriend? I just found out she dances with other guys when she goes with her friends to the club. She also drinks and smokes weed. I don't understand her dancing with other guys. I confronted her about it and called her a slut. She cried, but I don't care because she wasn't being true to me. Her last boyfriend cheated on her so she knows what it's like to be dating someone who isn't committed. I'm a 21 year old guy, and I just feel used. What should I do?

Answers:

Ms. Mystery: You need to realize that your girl is an adult and free to make her own choices. I'm guessing she's around your age. It's normal for her to want to go out with her friends and have fun with you or without you. What is wrong with dancing? As long as she isn't kissing them or anything else. It's harmless. She is an adult and if you try to control her you will

She's with My Best Friend and I Want Her Back!

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Question: My best friend and I both liked the same girl. I dated her first. We went out a few weeks then broke up. A few days later she was with my best friend! I figured she had obviously been cheating on me with him. My other friends say she didn't cheat on me. She's still dating my friend on and off and when I see her she still flirts with me. I think there might still be a chance for us to get back together. We've hung out a few times lately. I think she knows I like her. What should I do?

Answers:

Ms. Mystery: Obviously this girl doesn't know what she wants. She just wants to flirt and have fun.  She wants all guys to want her. She loves attention and is selfish. Forget her. You want a girl who wants you, no doubts, no confusion. Skip her! Tell your friend to skip her too.

Mr. Know: This girl's playing with your mind. Tell her "good luck and goodbye," in your mind. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Good luck.