Good Luck and Confess

My Girl Slept with My Cousin!

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Question: My girl did the dirt with my cousin. I only found out today my heart is broken. What do I do? I'm falling apart.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery:  Your girl did the dirt with your cousin!? That absolutely sucks. Of course it hurts. Of course she's not worthy of a single tear from you, and not worthy of your thoughts. And she was never even worthy of being your girlfriend. Telling you all this doesn't help ease your pain right now. It still hurts like hell! And that she did this with your cousin? What the heck was he thinking doing that to you? Unfortunately you can't pick your family.

Your broken heart feels very real. I know, I've had my share of them myself. And unfortunately it happens to EVERYBODY. Look around, everyone has had a broken heart or two or several. Thousands of songs have been written by broken hearts. Listen to the radio and you'll hear song after song about broken hearts.

I have found that it takes 50% of the time you were together to completely get over that person. Unless you keep letting them string you along - don't let that happen because then it might take even longer.

I promise that after the pain has eased and you can see clearly, you will wonder why the hell you ever dated her in the first place. You will feel nothing for her. You will find another, wonderful girl, who won't do this to you. Please don't be the guy who never trusts any other girls after this one "rotten apple."

I know of a guy who caught his girl cheating with his best friend in high school. He's in his late 40s and still won't open himself up to women. He has never been married or even had a long-term girlfriend. Don't let this cheating, lying girl ruin you for future relationships! Don't give her that power over you.

I know of another guy who caught his WIFE cheating with his BROTHER! He got divorced, then his ex-wife married his brother! His broken heart healed and now he realizes that he's actually very lucky and his brother's now stuck with this girl.

I promise you are lucky to find out what she is like now instead of later. Time does heal all wounds.

Mr. Know:  There's no need for you to fall apart. Drop her like a hot potato and don't look back. This girl is bad news. And please, don't try to think of million reasons why you should stay together.

How Can I Get Her to Admit Her Affair?

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Question: Okay guys, a little advice here please, I just found out that 9 months ago my girlfriend had an affair. I only found out because her phone bills went from £30pm to £140pm. When I confronted her she told me it was a female friend who was going through a difficult patch. This did not wash and although I could not prove anything. I kept digging.

6 months later she finally admitted to texting a bloke, again it did not wash so I kept on digging. A few nights later she admitted to meeting him 5 times over the 3 month period. One of these times was at MY HOUSE while i was OUT WORKING for our family !!

She admitted to kissing on these occasions and going to meet him, and meeting him at her friend's house. However she will not admit they were intimate!!!!

I find it hard to believe, if not impossible, that 2 people can have an affair over a period of time and not be intimate!! She said he tried to "go down on her once and she told him to stop and leave." She says that was it that was the only intimate time!! Why cant she TELL ME THE TRUTH???

Them being in my home killed me. Surly being honest about sex won't make me feel any worse.

She says it was never physical on her part, and that she was going through a bad patch with me and he was saying all the right words. She says she never found him physically attractive, and it was all in his patter. She says she never had feelings for him only for the things he said. If this is so why risk a seven year relationship? Why risk leaving 2 children fatherless? Why risk it at all?

She says she loves me and want us to get married and live happily ever after, BUT I NEED to know THE TRUTH. How can I get her to finally come clean and tell me everything? She claims she has but she also claimed for 9 months while I was asking her to come clean that she had not been unfaithful??

Any ideas greatly appreciated.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: Every relationship goes through a rough patch. Just ask your grandparents! It's all a matter of getting past it and forgiving each other and moving forward.

How Can I Stop My Lover from Leaving Me for a Sugar Daddy?

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Question: I have been in a gay relationship for five years with my boyfriend, throughout the five years he has cheated on me various times and hit me. And every time I forgave him and let him come back.

I've also cheated on him out of revenge and done things he doesn’t know about. I want this so bad to work out, but I'm tired of crying for him and him crying for me.  We just keep going in circles.

Last time we broke up and got back together, I gave up everything he asked me to. I expected us to work on things to finally get it together and be happy. Well he told me that while we were still together and he was in California for a month, he posted a craigslist ad and found a  wealthy man who wined and dined him while he was out there. He said he came back to live with me again because it was best place for his daughters to grow up and I wanted to help as much as I can.

Lying and Online Dating

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Question: I have always wanted someone to love but have never really dated. I had a troubled childhood. Abusive parents and sexually abused by my older brothers. It was such hell that during the abuse I would pretend to be somewhere else. I feel so dirty and ashamed about my life and what has happened to me that started lying to everyone in my life during my teens. I never let anyone get close to me because I was afraid they'd learn the truth and that they'd reject me sexually if they knew the truth.

I am in my mid twenties and am lonely so I started chatting online to meet a potential mate. I started enjoying the discussions and actually met someone after a few weeks who I like. This person was closed at first, like I am. Then they opened up and I feel like they are just like me. The only problem is that I haven't opened up to them. I have lied about where I came from, where I work everything except my true

Help! I'm Commitment-Phobic

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Question: I have a big problem with commitment. I am a 31 year old woman. I have confidence and other people tell me I'm an outgoing and pleasing person. However, I have a problem committing to my relationships.

I have been in 5 'committed' relationships, between one and four years long. But after the first couple of months I get bored, then I'm unfaithful and find a way to get out of the relationship. I've always made sure my partners get the blame and make them feel guilty, but I know the problem is me.

After I leave them I miss them and feel bad about what I have done. I call them, but in the meantime have a new 'lover'. I end up in a situation of having a 'committed' relationship with a man, while still phoning, visiting and having sex with my previous partner. I can not carry on like this anymore. Last night I 'dumped' my partner only to be with someone 'new' I met two weeks ago at a friend's place. I am still uncertain about going back to my previous, previous partner. Please help!

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: You do have a problem. Perhaps you just aren't a person who should be committed and you should start being up front about it instead of hurting these guys. Just face it, you may never find the right guy. However if you do eventually want to get married, you will need to stop what you are doing and be faithful. Perhaps you jump from one relationship to the

Wife's Affair Broke Up Marriage: How to Protect the Kids

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Question: I am wondering if I have any rights to protect my children from being around my future ex-wife's boyfriend. They had an affair and broke up our marriage. Now I have strong feelings that the kids shouldn't be exposed to a life around him - or any time with him even though they have not met him yet.

Answer: Ms. Mystery & Mr. Know: This is a great question many divorced parents are wanting to know. First of all, it sounds like you really care about your kids. This can get you far in family court.

We are not lawyers or legal experts, however we do know that many states will allow a provision in the divorce papers stating that the parents cannot have overnight guests of the opposite

Is Phone Sex Cheating?

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Question: I am in an argument with my best friend. Is phone sex cheating? She is married and has three kids and told me she had phone sex with one of her old boyfriends who she was madly in love with before she got married. She says she doesn't think what she did is wrong.

I'm shocked! What do you think? Is it wrong to have phone sex with someone else while you are married? Is that considered cheating?

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: First of all, yes your friend was emotionally cheating on her husband by relating that way with another man. You know her husband would see it as cheating. Ask your friend how she'd feel if her husband did the same. If that really wouldn't bother her then she either doesn't love him, or they

Do I Stay With a Cheater?

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Question:  I recently discovered my fiance cheated physically on his first wife with someone from work. He also cheated emotionally on his second wife with someone at work. When I asked him about this he lied to me and adamantly denied cheating on either one. Finally, he broke down and told the truth, that he did cheat. He swears he would never cheat on me but I see a pattern and it scares me. When I tell him I want out he cries hysterically, begging me back and threatening that he can't live without me. Should I leave because he lied and has a history of infidelity? If yes, how do I leave without breaking his heart?

Answers:
Ms. Mystery:  Well, it sounds like he's getting better with each wife. First it was physical, then only emotional the second time, so you should have nothing to worry about. Joking! Sort of.

So you are going to be number three. It's very possible he has learned a lesson and has grown up after those two bad marriages. Perhaps he married his first wife before he was

Should I Dump My Pot-Head Husband?

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Question: My partner tells me I'm uptight and he's thinking about leaving me. We've been together for nine years and have a three year old son. When we first dated, we smoked pot a lot. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped. My partner cut back for a while, but is now back to smoking every day. He tells me he rarely smokes, but I find Visine in his pockets. I'm worried he's lying to me and smoking behind my back.

He has a job and he gets his marijuana for free, so I can't complain that he's wasting money on it. However, I hoped he'd be past this phase by now so he can be a healthy example for our son. He never smokes around our son and never is high around him, but I feel like pot is holding him back. He's 34 and still hasn't gotten his GED. He sells cars and does okay, but this economy is unpredictable. I want him to stop smoking pot and get his GED so he'll have more options in his life. He complains that I'm uptight and trying to "change him," and doesn't want to quit smoking.

Answers:
Mr. Know: Pot head at 34... I've never done drugs, but I can tell you this guy's still thinks he's in high school. Smoking pot behind your back is not cool. When you're 34 and you still have not taken the initiative to take the GED, it's a perfect example of a pot head gone bad. I don't know how much you love this

Should He Forgive Her for Affair?

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Question: I cheated on my boyfriend of five years. I felt terrible and was very depressed for a while. I kept my stress to myself, but then my boyfriend found out. He was crushed and I went back home to be with my family for a while in order to work things out, I know it will take time, but now everyone knows what I did. I know I must face my mistakes, but I'm worried about what his family thinks. I don't want them to think that i would ever anything like that again. My boyfriend and I are spending more time together. We love each other, but both know it will take time to heal things. What can I do to make things better?

Answers:
Mr. Know:  Don't worry about what his family might think. What really matters is what he thinks. Spending time together without any pressure is the right approach. What's going to be